I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
