All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
