You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
