Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
