wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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