So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
