I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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