When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
