About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
