I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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