4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
