Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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