She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
