her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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