epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
