butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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