she was so not down for the gang bang
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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