fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
