did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
