yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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