I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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