doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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