if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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