If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
