STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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