My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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