it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
