It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
