So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
