you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
