the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We need to rekindle our bromance
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
