i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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