You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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