every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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