I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
