He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
