Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
