a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
