Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
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