Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
