the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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