i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize