So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
