we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
