why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
