It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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