Screwed.edu
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
