Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
