That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
