Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
