Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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