You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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