why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
