i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize