Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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