i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
MIDGETS
????
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
