Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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