im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize