im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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