I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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