do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
