i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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