So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
