Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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