His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
